I just ran a marathon in seven days flat.

I'm done! Part of our PAC “homework” was to complete a Self Study and I finished mine this morning. This is basically a guided autobiography that J and I were each asked to complete. Mine hovers around eleven single-spaced pages. That’s a lot. The study covers obvious things like your upbringing, your family, and your current relationships. It also asks you questions about your own cultural awareness and diversity, your attitudes toward adoption, highlights of your parenting skills, and the strengths and weaknesses of your self, children, spouse, and self. This is not easy stuff. However, I found this to be a great seven days of thought and reflection and I’m sure that I’ll continue thinking through some of these questions as time goes on. It made me remember things long forgotten and it prompted me to take an honest look at the person that I have become. It required that I do some honest reflection on why I want to parent through adoption. The good news is that I still passionately believe that I am meant to be an adoptive mother. The bad news is that my social worker has to wade through all of this stuff! Seriously, it’s a novella.

I am typically a rather private person and this transcultural/transracial adoption will challenge my nature. Last week at PAC we talked about how adoption is not a private matter. For instance, soon my social worker and I will soon sit down and talk about things that my own mother may not even know. (I’m exaggerating, there’s really nothing that mysterious or dramatic about my life! But still…) And once our child comes home, it will forever be obvious that she joined our family through adoption. I am just on the verge of beginning to grasp what that will mean.